Not so much illogical
by Lizzy0305
Summary: Captain Kirk,during a boring session starts thinking about his enthusiastic feelings for his First Officer. The problem is, he completely forgets what a touch-telepath is. So when Spock accidentally touches him, he just keeps thinking. SLASH! M for reason


_Hey! I'm very new at this fandom but I already LOVE IT! Mostly I'm into TOS not the re-boot (Nimoy leaves me speechless every time) but I couldn't just stop over Quinto's awesomeness because he is indeed awesome as Spock and well... this Spock and his dynamic with his Captain... is just hot. _

_This story came to me once and didn't leave me alone until I wrote it so... Well, yeah this 'touch-telepath' thing gives a lot of opportunity to make Captain Kirk feel a little awkward... xD_

_Anyway, shameless smut here, really... nothing else. Don't even search for a plot, I didn't have time to write it... xD_

_Have fun,_

_Liz_

PS: **THIS STORY IS NOT BETA READED**. Will be, but it will take some time. If that disturbs you, come back later ;) I tried my best not to make so many mistakes...

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_**Not so much illogical**_

Okay, this briefing is just way too boring. I mean, seriously.

I'm the captain, I always listen to what my crew is talking about during these sessions or what ideas they have because I'm aware, even if someone thinks I'm too egoist to notice this, that without them, I'm like nothing. Really, _absolutely_ nothing. I need them, like I need my precious Enterprise. And that's a fact no one should question, not even my _dearest_ First Officer.

Especially not my _dearest_ First Officer. Who I actually kinda need even more than any other members of my crew. Or maybe I just need him in different ways. On the bed? Nah, boring… Up against the wall? Cliché. Covered in chocolate? Fuck, that would be _delicious_.

As I think of him, he speaks up next to me.

"I do believe this argument is quite unnecessary Mr. Gray." He says, but it looks like I'm the only one who actually heard him. Interesting, most of the times he is the one the crew pays attention at, sometimes even more than they do at me.

Though not now. Gabriel, our brilliant scientist, claims that we should interfere with the life of the planet we are currently flying around. Although we all know it is against Starfleet's regulation and everything and we should absolutely not do that, and not just _should not_ do it but also _will not_ do it in any manner, but still there is a huge argument about it between, Grey, McCoy, and three other scientists working under Grey.

About five minutes ago, I tried to explain the same thing as Spock now; that this argument is just pointless as we all know what the Prime Rule is. To my and Spock's surprise they weren't listening to me. But I'm just too tired to have a fight about this.

Because thanks to my _dearest_ First Officer I wasn't really having enough sleep this night, _again_.

Three days in a row. Three fucking days without enough sleep, because I have to wake up in the middle of the night sweating, with a weeping erection, painfully craving to be touched by someone who sleeps in the next room, giving a _shit_ about my needs. And _of course_ said needs had to be satisfied by me instead of my _dearest_ First Officer and _of course_ after that who the hell could have _any_ sleep. That's just impossible.

With a loud sigh I lean back on my seat. My shoulder slightly brushing Spock's as he's sitting close to me. My hand on the arm of the chair, fingers hanging on the air, legs crossed; I'm waiting patiently but I know, when Bones looks at me he just feels how incredibly bored I am. But he can't help me, he's fighting with Gray again, trying to make the man understand that no matter how wrong it is, we just can't interfere.

Spock moves a bit, and his fingers are lightly, really just a bit but still, brushing mine. It was so light that I'm sure he doesn't even realized our skin is in contact. But I did. And it's good. Really good.

Because if there's something you really want, but you don't get enough of it, or worse don't get anything _at all_, after a (short) time you… well want it even more… But that's not the point here. What I mean is that you use every chance to get at least a tiny bit of that thing you want to have.

I _want_ Spock. I _can't_ have Spock. So now, I'm like some sneaky weirdo, using every opportunity to touch him. Like now. Even it's just a really little connection, I'm enjoying, bathing in the warmness of his skin as long as I can, because I already know it won't last forever. What forever? Right now I'd be happy if we could maintain a connection till we can have some privacy where I could just shove him to a wall or something and have my way with him because I really can't concentrate with him being always around me, specially after all those lustful dreams I have all nights.

Spock moves on the chair again, his fingers became more in touch with mine. He's listening to Gray' and McCoy's fight just too much to notice something so irrelevant than four fingers touching featherlike.

Because that would be most likely illogical.

As would be to have sex with his captain, most likely. No matter how much that captain finds it absolutely logical. Not just logical but also most needed. Sooner the better.

That fucking hot hobgoblin, that.

I can't repress a smile. Fucking, eh? Most definitely. Kinda like, right now. Because I mean, I could do it. Okay, not actually fuck him of course, there are at least five people around us and Bones would most likely just kill me with his bare hands if I'd start stripping Spock right here, throwing him up the desk and do him. God, how damn much I want to do it right now.

No, no sex here, but I'm sure a handjob could be managed under the desk, hidden from the eyes of the others. Because really, he isn't that far from me. If I just reach out my hand, no one could see it, and there he is, I could touch him through those black pants, pressing hard, just to test him if his Vulcan self could prevent him from moaning or gasping. And if he could resist, if he could stay in control, damn sure I would just open those pants and fold my fingers around his bare cock, oh fuck yeah…

I wonder what it is like. Is it like any humans, or Vulcans look, feel different there? Anyway, in my fantasies he will be human in that part. Just to make things easier.

So yeah, I would slide my fingers on his long shaft. And I do believe it's long because I observed it like thousand times just this day, and believe me I started my observations in this subject really long time ago, so I know what I fantasies about when I say long. And thick. Oh man, I'm gonna come…

So would he, if it would depend on me, but it doesn't unfortunately. Although believe me I would do anything to make that pointy-eared bastard come to my mouth. I would kneel in front of him, the desk would cover me, and I'm sure no one would even bother to look for me, they don't pay me any attention right now, they probably wouldn't even notice if I'd disappear under the desk, between my First Officer's legs. Mmm, that's a place I'd really like to go.

I'd go slowly on him. Not because I'm such a nice guy, but because I'm such a badass. Because I want him to suffer, I want him to feel that pain, that longing I'm feeling in every hour of every each day, not to even mention the nights because really, my nights are just horrible. Waking up for the fact that he is not next to me, that this will be a day _again_ where I have to be _alone_ and _without_ him makes me feel miserable. Like really, sitting in a dark corner kinda miserable.

Why do I always have to fell for the wrong guy? Not that I fell for Spock, of course. I didn't. This is… I just… I mean… Shit.

Fuck.

_Fuckfuckfuck._

I didn't fell for Spock, I just want him, okay? In every way possible. And I want him to want me. I want him… geez I want him to do naughty things with me, tie me up to something and just fuck me with everything he has. Fucking god, he's three times stronger than me, I can't even imagine what he could do to me during sex. He could pin me to a bed with a hand and I wouldn't have a _chance_ to escape. Nothing. I would be left at his _mercy_.

Oh fuck, this thought shouldn't be so unbelievably arousing…

Spock's fidgeting next to me. Really Spock? How can you not be bored? How can you listen to those men so far away (means about three steps) when I'm sitting here next to you, with a huge erection? Anyway, you don't fidget. You just don't do that. You just sit, most of the times. You just sit like a statue and what a beautiful statue. Oh man, if you knew how incredibly hot you are. But maybe you know. Maybe you're aware of the fact that every time you bend over your science station I'm just staring at your tight ass, licking my lips, thinking of how much I want to burry my cock into you. Oh sweet lord, have mercy on me, I can't think of anything else, and you know what, maybe you're right, I'm insane like you said just a few days ago, but if I am indeed mad or insane it's only because of you, because really, how can you expect me to remain sane while having you around? A walking magnet, walking porn movie, because fuck, that's what you are to me. No matter what you do, intentional little moves like licking your lips after a long speech, makes me think of the dirtiest sex scenes I can think of. Like, today you scratched your ear. Seriously, how could that be sexy, right? I just looked at your ear and you know what? I thought that while having wild sex with you in a dark part of _our_ ship, I'd lean to your ear and whisper filthy thing in it, and I'm sure you would like it. You look like someone who likes dirty talk during sex.

Or is it just my fantasy this time? Are you more innocent than you look like? Would you like me to go easy on you? To be gentle and patient and nice and everything. Because man, I can do it. I can do _anything_ for you. Just name it, come on Spock, say it, tell me what you want, tell me if you want to fuck me, or if you want me to suck you down, or anything else, really I'd be understanding even if it turns out you have a really kinky side deep under that damn Vulcan mask. Really Spock just say something, tell me what's in your mind and I-

"Captain?"

"Khm.. Yes, Mr. Spock?" I smile at him. That's it, good boy, tell it to me. Say it aloud, no one will hear you just me. Just say it.

He takes a long look at me, like… really long… It's almost staring. If I consider he's half Vulcan, it _is_ actually staring.

"May I remind you that the argument they are discussing is entirely up to your decision to be accepted or refused? I believe you already made your decision, moreover if I am correct you already stated mentioned decision three times since the argument started."

Not what I wanted to hear, Spock. Bad boy, you gonna be punished. _Hard_.

I'm smiling like an idiot.

"Correct Mr. Spock. Your point is?" I really hope he's going to say _'Then why _thefuck_ are we still sitting here instead of having enthusiastic sex somewhere, _Captain_?'_

"May I inquire why do you not state your conclusion in a more firm and determined manner and end this meaningless session? Am I not correct in believing you have more important things to do than sit here and… listen to this worthless conversation, _Captain_?"

If by 'important things' you mean fuck someone senseless then yes, you're quiet right Spock, I have indeed better thing to _do_. Namely _you_. And by the way, I do believe you actually just said what I wanted you to say, only in a more… Vulcan way. No spanking then…

Maybe I'm wrong and it's only the lightning but Spock looks a bit greener than usual. Maybe he's really fed up with this meeting?

"I don't end the session, though I already made my decision, because I believe Mr. Gray and his team have to understand _why_ we can't interfere with the planet's life, no matter how much we want to. If they still want to serve aboard this lady, they have to learn and accept the rules. This is the learning part you see here."

"When will the 'accepting' part _come_, Captain?" He looks at me, left brow rises so high, it's almost disappears under his hair. It's like he'd say, 'You can't be serious, make them shut the fuck up already and let's go.' But the look is lost on me, as a thought appears in my head about how gorgeous would he look between my legs, _his_ mouth on my cock, my hand in his hair, messing up the perfect mane. Holy fucking shit, I'm so gonna come right now if this goes on.

"Have some patience, Mr. Spock." Says the guy who almost came just by looking at the _hair_ of his First Officer. And by the way, dear Spock would you please be kind and not say 'come' again? At least not when I'm at the very end of my resista-

"Let me rephrase Captain, will it _ever_ come?"

Maybe 'it' will not come, but surely I will, if you say that word one more time, you pointy-eared bastard. My hands are literally shaking as I mumble "It will…" quietly.

"_Come_ again, Captain?"

"Unf… shit." Did I really just _moan_? _Aloud_? Oh fuck…

"_Captain_?"

Is that a fucking _smile_ on your lips, Spock? Do you _really_ want to drive me crazy? Are you doing this on freaking _purpose, _or what? I'm not just sexually frustrated but angry as well. Awesome, I want to fuck him like hell and now he makes me more reckless. Just awesome.

"Patience Mr. Spock, patience." I squeeze out. He looks at me for one more second then turns back towards Bones and the others. Our fingers are still in touch.

I'm so going to fuck the bastard. Like hard. Really hard. I don't care if that will be the last thing I do in my life, but I'm going to burry my cock in him, I'm going to thrust furiously into his ass while my fingers will slash into his skin and my hand will be shifting on his hard erection and I won't let him come until he begs me to do, because shit, I deserve it. I deserve to hear him shout and scream and _beg_ for me to let him come, to let him split his semen on me as he moves furiously over me, _rides_ _me_, fervent and wild, ardent and oh god _hard_.

I have to calm down. I'm seriously too close to an orgasm just by fantasizing about this guy right next to me. How can you do this to me Spock? I'm hard like a freaking rock because of you and you haven't even touched me. Well… except for that little touch with our fingers but com'on, that's like nothing really.

And still, my cock is throbbing madly; I can feel my heartbeat in my pants, man. And you, you alone do this to me and I can not do anything to make it stop, god help me maybe I don't even _want_ to do anything against it. Because yeah, it sucks that I can't have you, but still at nights when I wake up from those dreams, and I'm wet and naked and _hard_, in that darkness I grab my cock and I think of you. I think of you, of how good it _would_ be and my hand is sliding on my cock and I imagine it's _your_ mouth and my fingers are sliding in my ass and I imagine it's _your_ cock, I think of your body smashing against mine, and before my orgasm blinds me I whisper your name, I _moan_ your name in the darkness. I moan '_Spock'_ but I want to cry it, I want to scream it _loud_, but you are in the next room and you would hear it so I just lie there, satisfied but still craving for more, longing for the real thing, I'm happy because damn I just had a fantastic orgasm but I'm also miserable and desperate because you are so close to me and still I can't have you.

You know Spock, you scare me. You scare the shit out of me. Because no one should have such power on me. But you do have it, I don't know if you noticed. I would do anything for you, Spock. And I don't mean just the sex, but in every other situation as well. Most probably you've never realized it, but I'd throw away my life without _any_ hesitation if that would save you life. I would die for you, Spock and you know what's the funniest part of this? That most likely you _want_ to see me dead. Oh shit, those things I said about your feelings for your mom… I don't have to slightest doubt that you still hate me for that. Damn it, even _I_ hate myself for all the things I said. But you have to know, I respect your feelings towards her and in the future I'll never _ever_ say any bad word about this. You know, I wish I could know her; she must have been an incredible woman.

Oh god, that day she died… I wanted to be _next_ to you Spock and instead of that I only caused you more pain, I hurt you so deeply.

I wish I could have held you in my arms that night. Just lie with you in the bed in silence and do nothing, say nothing because I don't think you said anything to Uhura or to anyone else that night, did you? I wish I could have been the person who rocked you into a healing, dreamless sleep, to let you escape from this world, even if just for a couple of hours. On the next morning we would have made love in the most beautiful and gentle way because both you and I would have desired to feel that we were still alive and together. You would have been over me, sliding into my body with infinite care and love and when we'd have come, looking into your eyes and I'd kiss you and moan 'I love you', because god help me, I do love you, damn I can't believe it and no matter how hard I try to deny it even to myself I do, god I _do_ love you.

I look at him and I know my expression is so obvious if he looked at me he would realize it even if he doesn't feel love or any other emotions. But he doesn't look at me, he stares towards Bones or Gray, barely blinking, jaw clenched. You don't care a shit about me, do you Spock?

I could kneel in front of you, slowly open the zipper on your pants and take that huge manhood out, driving my tongue along the lower side of it from the bottom to the very top, then slowly I could take the whole tip of your cock between my lips, and suck it hard and ardent, and even then you would maybe rise and eyebrow asking in a very Vulcan way that what the hell am I doing but that's all, you wouldn't moan or gasp, nothing.

He must be really bored by now; he keeps crossing and uncrossing his legs. I'm curious how long he can hold on. This session must be really meaningless for him. But it can't take too long now, really.

Anyway, back to where I was… You wouldn't moan even when I'd drive your erection deep into my mouth and my tongue would shift on your weeping cock, teasing, tasting you and I'd be happy to do it. But you, you damn bastard, you would never slide your hand into my hair, gripping me, forcing me to take you deeper in, even if I would _love_ that, not even when I'm grazing the oversensitive skin of your cock in a maddening slow pace with my teeth while my fingers are massaging your balls. No, you would remain completely focused even if I would make you slide a bit down on your chair just to push two wet fingers into your perfect tight ass and-

Slowly, you stand up next to me and lean over the desk. You are saying something, but you don't say it to me, thanks god, because your words, once again are lost on me as I'm staring at your ass like an idiot, because your ass is just mouth-wetting and it hurts me to know that I will never have the pleasure to thrust into that ass. Because no matter how much I want you, I still have a _little_ dignity left and I won't go to you on my knees begging for sex.

I see Bones and the other scientists heading towards the door. Bones, before stepping out from the room, looks at me, grinning like an idiot. Standing up I watch Spock's back getting further away from me. Then suddenly he stops turns toward me.

"Do you allow me to express a slight remark about the thoughts occurred to you during this session, Captain?"

"Certainly I do, Mr. Spock."

With his hands folded behind him, he starts walking back to me, his face like a mask, shows noting when he speaks up.

"The touching of four fingers is indeed relevant and logical enough for me to pay attention to it as I am, as you might know, a _touch_ telepath. Which means sometimes I am able to sense the thoughts of people I touch. Even with just two fingers."

Holy. Fucking. _Shit_. My _thoughts_? He _sensed_ my _thoughts_?

He steps one more step closer, his face only an inch away from mine, I can feel his hot breathes on my lips but still his expression shows nothing, except his eyes which are burning with dark, dangerous fire. Then he leans to my ear.

"And _Jim_…You were wrong. I would most definitely give vocal evidence of my pleasure if you took the whole tip of my cock between your _lips_, and suck it _hard and ardent_ or when you would drive my erection _deep _into your mouth, and your tongue would shift on my weeping cock, teasing, tasting _me_." He whispers, already turning away, halfway out of the door.

And that's the point when my knees just give it up and I fell to the hard floor with all my dignity stashed to the furthest, darkest corner. But honestly, who the hell cares about dignity, _right now._

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**FIN**

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_Every word opens a new gate. Moreover my birthday is tomorrow (03.05), so pretty please with cherry on top, leave me some comments_ :) _Or I send some Klingons to fetch you... Muhhahhaaa... Or maybe just some Tribbles. I can't decide which one is more harmful _xD


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